drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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