hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
