But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
