So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize