WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
