Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
