break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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