Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
