He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
