sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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