I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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