It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
