No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
