Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
