We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize