so explain again why im purple
no
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
As shirtless as possible
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
