I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
All I want is dick and wine.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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