She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
