brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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