My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
