Cold hands, warm shart.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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