You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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