I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
