Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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