He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
