please come you make the beer taste better
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
