Buhtt sex?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
