I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
