I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I think a kid would responsible me up
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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