We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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