People in love make me want to vomit
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
