My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
