she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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