All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
