Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
