uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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