small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
