i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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