sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
