We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize