It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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