Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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