I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
