it hurts more in the daytime
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Found your dick twin last night
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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