What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
