ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
