its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
