i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize