I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Life is so much better after having sex.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
