I wish I only lived at night.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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