Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
