I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
