OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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