obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
