After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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