this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
