I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
