I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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