Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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