Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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