I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
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