I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
