I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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