I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize