whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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