Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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