Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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