I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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