Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
