never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
