She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
