question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
