She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
