I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
