so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
