He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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