Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
