why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
