i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
