It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
