The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize