Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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