If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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