i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
