HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
